Panda Porn?

One more item from HARPER'S WEEKLY REVIEW, 11.28.06:

Chinese scientists revealed that showing pornography to pandas has helped increase the captive panda population.

Wow.

Stealing Christmas All Over Again

From HARPER'S WEEKLY REVIEW, 11.28.06

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich announced that he would lead an effort to revitalize the Republican Party. "I am not 'running' for president," said Gingrich. "I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen."

That's fucking perfect.

Word for Word: A Magpie's Nest...

FIRST, A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:

Dear Reader,

You may have noticed that, in recent weeks, SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER has become increasingly explicit. I would like to remind you, however, that, from day one, the subtitle of this blog has read: "Explications and Elucidations." Interestingly enough, the adjective explicit and the noun explication are derived from the same Latin verb: explicare, meaning "to unfold." That said, in order to adhere to the task at hand, it behooves me to be as explicit as possible.
Thank you for your continued support.

Regards,
Christopher Devine

Editor, SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER

*******************

AND NOW....

Pornographic Etymology: Muff

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word Muff (noun, vulgar slang) as, "The female pubic hair."

The word (with the aforementioned definition) first appeared in the year 1699 in The New Dictionary of Ancient and Modern Terms and was defined as "a Woman's Secrets."

1707 was a pivotal year for the word Muff. In this momentous year, a gentleman by the name of J.S. Farmer elucidated the meaning of this word, and we are forever indebted to him. In a collection of "Merry Songs and Ballads," Mr. Farmer wrote:

The Muff between her Haunches,
Resembl'd a Mag-Pye's Nest.



There you have it!!

FUCK

I would like to recommend the documentary film Fuck.

This film examines the history and etymology of the word Fuck, as well as its current cultural significance. Although it is, perhaps, twenty minutes too long, it is quite good.

For more information, click here

Peel Slowly and See

From the May 2006 issue of HARPER'S.
This is pretty brilliant.

A Banana in the Sun.
From a letter written by Robert S. Poydasheff, the mayor of Columbus, Georgia, to Gwen Stewart, who had complained about policemen eating bananas at a civil-rights march in January 2005. According to Poydasheff, she considered the banana “an affront,” though she would not specify why. Local media speculated that Stewart perceived the fruit as a slur equating African Americans with apes.

Dear Ms. Stewart,

I am sorry you found Columbus police officers eating bananas on the street when you arrived in Columbus for the protest. Let me assure you there was no intent to offend. The officers needed some nutrition after standing long hours on the street, and they particularly needed the potassium available in bananas and some other fruits.

Accordingly, they were given bananas along with some drinking water. There was no thought of insulting or offending anyone, and perhaps that was thoughtless on our part. In any case, let me offer my sincere apology for anything our officers may have done that gave offense to you or anyone else. I want to assure you that it will not happen again. I want to encourage you to come back to Columbus and get to know us better. You will find this a place where African Americans and all other people are valued equally and are welcomed to full participation in community life. Again, I am sorry you were offended, and I hope you will accept this sincere apology.

Respectfully,
Robert S. Poydasheff

I LIKE YOU

I would like to recommend the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Perhaps not as fresh as Da Ali G Show, it remains a "must see" (if only for the scene that features Borat in the hotel elevator).



To view the trailer, click HERE